


Ring

by paragraph (ebcdic)



Category: Canadian Music RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Mind Games, POV First Person, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebcdic/pseuds/paragraph
Summary: Your typical angsty unrequited love thing.





	Ring

"Nice one," I said as Chad bounded up the steps of the tour bus.

He paused mid-bounce and frowned in confusion at me. "What?"

"Really, well done," I told him as I gave him a polite golf clap.

He continued to look confused as he strolled past me to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of juice. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

I slid down in my seat and smirked at him. "Your innocent act doesn't work on me, pal."

"What act?" he asked as he sat down beside me, popping the bottle of juice open and taking a sip from it.

I leaned into his personal space and mockingly clutched my heart. "Oh, Ryan. I've never been in love before..." I threw one hand against my forehead and pretended to swoon into Chad's lap. "Show me what true love really is, darling," I said in a mock-breathy voice before sitting up and staring pointedly at him.

"Spying on me again, eh?" he commented, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Like you don't get off on having an audience," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest.

He grinned seductively. "You know me so well, Nik."

I laughed and reached over him to grab my beer. "Flatter me all you like, you're still not getting in my pants."

His face twisted into a half-pout, half-frown. "Why don't you just fucking tell him all about my little games then?"

"I don't interfere in people's relationships," I answered automatically.

He stared hard at me for a moment, his face turning dark and dangerous. "Even if I hurt him?"

I shrugged, knowing full well that me interfering would only hurt Ryan more in the end. Chad would twist it around until me helping Ryan was just another part of his game and then when Chad stomped Ryan's heart to pieces, somehow it would get turned around so I was the one to blame. Which would just send Ryan right back to Chad, broken heart or not. No, I knew it was better to just lay low and be the shoulder to lean on than to even dream of beating Chad at his own game.

Chad laughed. "I'll make sure he hates us both in the end in that case."

I sighed. "Why do you want him to hate you? He's one of your best friends."

He seemed to pause and think about that one. "I don't know any other way to be," he finally answered with a shrug.

I stared in consideration at him, trying to decide whether he was being honest or if this was just another one of his games. In the end it never mattered, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, just this once. "You could try."

He bit his lip, which either means he's playing at innocent or he's nervous. I couldn't decide which. "I don't know where to start," he said.

Warning bells went off in my head but I ignored them. "How about by leaving Ryan alone?" I suggested with a hint of menace in my voice.

His fingers skimmed over my forearm as he pouted at me. "But I love him."

I took his hand away. "No, you don't."

His eyes flared up in anger. "I do."

I leaned into him, pressing my forehead against his. "I'm not buying it, Chad."

He bit his lip again. "I mean it."

I laughed in his face. "Liar."

"Fuck you," he snarled, pushing me away.

"Not on your life, babydoll," I laughed again. 

His eyes filled with tears but I kept laughing. It was all an act anyway. It was always an act with him. His face abruptly turned into a cold mask when he realized I wasn't buying it. "Okay," he said, rolling his eyes. "So I don't love him." 

"Ooooh, honesty. There's a new one for you," I mocked.

He grinned and leaned closer to me, winking conspiratorially at me. "He's one hell of a good fuck though. Maybe I'll let you try him out sometime."

I grinned back at him. "Who said I haven't had him already?"

That shocked Chad. He sat back and blinked at me. "What?"

"Oh, yeah. I've had him," I said, still grinning.

"When?" Chad asked slowly.

"Eons ago. He used to drive down to Brooks to visit me when we were in high school," I explained. 

Chad raised an eyebrow at me. "So you... dated him?"

I laugh and shake my head. "No. I fucked him."

Chad seemed to consider this. "You want him again?"

"Nope," I said. I meant it too. I liked having Ryan as a friend better and sex only complicated the hell out of things.

"You want me?" Chad asked.

I shook my head and then tugged on one of his curls. "I don't fuck mind-game playing bitches. Tends to take all the fun out of things for me."

He leaned closer to me, his lips hovering over my earlobe. "Even if it meant I'd leave Ryan alone?"

I turned and kissed his cheek as I patted his thigh. "Nice try, babydoll, but I'm not falling for it."

"I mean it," he said fiercely. 

"No," I said firmly. "Let me lay it out for you here. You say that if I fuck you, you'll leave Ryan alone. But of course you're lying, you're only going to run to him and tell him all about it. At which point he'll hate my guts and be further wrapped around your little finger. So, pardon me, but I'll pass on that angst-fest."

"I'm not lying," Chad insisted.

"See, you say that but I know you don't mean it," I tell him with a smile.

"How do you know?" he demands angrily. "Why don't you ever trust me?"

"You've never given me a reason to trust you," I said as I stood up and stretched. "And on that lovely note, I think I'm going to go take a nap."

I walked to the back of the bus without looking back. After stripping down to my boxers, I curled up in my bunk and tried to sleep. Just as my eyes were drifting shut, I heard soft footsteps approach and silently cursed. He could never just leave well enough alone, could he? 

"Do you hate me?" he asked and I could hear his voice break slightly.

I kept my eyes closed, wondering if his voice breaking was all an act or not. "I don't hate anyone."

"But you'll make an exception for me, right?"

He sounded so genuinely bitter that I had to open my eyes and look at him. He was kneeling next to my bunk, his fingers curled over the railing. His face looked almost innocent and sincere. 

"Anyone would include you," I pointed out.

His lips twisted into a half-frown before he sighed. "Okay, fine. You're right about Ryan."

"I know," I said neutrally.

"I don't love him," he added.

"I know," I repeated.

"I'm only using him."

"I know."

"He makes the game too easy."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know."

I had suspected it all along but never gave it much thought. I didn't love him back, after all. I didn't like the idea of Chad playing mind games with Ryan for what he thought was my benefit or so I'd be forced to stop him and in the process somehow love him back. It was too twisted for me. What ever happened to just coming out and saying you loved someone, no games?

He swallowed hard. "That wasn't the reaction I was expecting."

"I know."

"Is that all you're going to say to me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What else is there to say?" I asked, staring neutrally at him.

He bit his lip, and this time I knew it was a genuine action out of nervousness. "How about 'I love you too'?"

"But it wouldn't be true and even if it was, how would I know it wasn't a part of your game?" I asked. I meant to be gentle but somehow it didn't come out that way. It came out cold and with a hint of anger. 

He turned his face away from me. I watched as his shoulders shook but didn't feel compelled to comfort him because part of me wondered if this was all a game too. When wasn't it a game for him? The moment seemed to stretch forever before he turned to look at me again. His eyes were naked in their pain, so naked and raw that it would impossible to fake. 

"I love you," he said heatedly. "It's not a game."

"How can I ever believe you?" I asked softly. 

He took his hands off the bed railing and dropped them to his lap. I couldn't see what he was doing and so I just stared at him curiously for a moment before he brought his hand back up and took my hand in his. I felt something cold touch my palm and he wrapped my fist around it before pulling back. Before I could react he walked away, locking himself in the bathroom.

I slowly opened my fist and blinked down at the object resting on my palm. It was one of Chad's rings. I turned it over with my fingers and studied the design. I stared blankly at it, wondering why the hell he had given it to me before it dawned on me. This ring had been his grandmother's and before tonight, he had never taken it off. "Son of a bitch," I swore to myself. 

Chad always kept his family out of his games. Completely out. As much as he had issues with them, he kept them sacred. Sacred like this ring and he'd never use it as bait, he'd never stoop so low. Or would he? That was the thing, I always thought I knew the boundaries of Chad's games but they were ever expanding. As soon as I figured one out, he broke it down and moved on to the next. 

I tossed the ring up in the air and caught it. There was only one way to find out. "Come back here and get this," I called out to Chad.

The bathroom door slowly creaked open and Chad stood in the doorway, head down. "No."

"Guess I'll just be throwing it away then," I said as I slid out of my bunk.

His head snapped up, his eyes wide in panic. "Nik..."

I paused on my way to the window and stared at him. "What?"

He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes. "It's yours now, do with it what you want."

I made some noises that sounded like I was throwing the ring out the window but instead slipped it into my pocket. As I slid the window shut, Chad opened his eyes again and the raw pain in them made me step back. He went to the window and pressed his forehead against it, two of his fingers wrapping themselves around the finger the ring used to be on. For a long moment he silently cried against the window then he turned without a word to me and locked himself in the bathroom again. 

I almost felt bad for him. 

He didn't speak to me for the next month; but then again, he barely spoke to anyone. He broke things off with Ryan, stopped messing around and spent most of his time in his bunk sleeping. Ryan was a little heartbroken but he got over it quick enough. He and Mike spent a lot of time having hushed conversations about Chad's well being. Mike had noticed the ring's absence and asked me about it. I just said that Chad had lost it. Neither one of them ever bothered to ask me anything more than that and I started to wonder if I was being too cruel. 

I didn't want to be cruel. I was a nice guy. Hell, I was the nicest guy in the band. So I had my bitchy side, but who didn't? Maybe this was taking things too far though. I decided I'd give the ring back to Chad and he could go back to being his usual bitchy, mind-gaming-playing self and I could go back to ignoring the fact that maybe I felt something for him too.

I walked over to his bunk and held the ring out on my palm near his face. "Here."

He turned over and stared at me. "How?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "I never threw it away."

He curled my fingers over the ring and pushed my hand away. "I told you it was yours." Then he turned his back to me again. 

I frowned and touched his back. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. "Don't you want it back?"

"I couldn't take it back even if I wanted to," he said, sounding miserable.

It dawned on me that maybe we weren't talking about the ring anymore. "Do you want to?"

He turned over again and shook his head. "No."

I considered that for a moment. If this was a game of Chad's it was far too elaborate for me to ever figure out. I decided to risk it and slipped the ring onto one of my fingers. "Maybe I'll keep it for awhile then."

He just stared at me but his eyes lit up a little bit with hope. It was an expression that I had never seen on Chad's face before. I couldn't help but lean down and brush my lips against his forehead. He touched the side of my face as I pulled back. "I thought you said it wasn't true."

"I lied," I said softly and meant it in the sense that I didn't know if I really loved him or not. And if I did, could I handle it? 

"I know," he said, but didn't sound smug or matter-of-fact, just neutral and maybe a bit unsure still.

I was still unsure too. "I don't."

He chewed on his lower lip and dropped his hand. "Maybe someday you will."

"Maybe," I agreed, touching his face before walking away again.

**


End file.
